Made Plans With My Friend Now He Wants to Bring His Girlfriend Again

In this mail I'm going to testify you exactly how to get your ex fellow dorsum if he's moved on to a new girlfriend.

In fact, this is the exact process that many of my clients who find themselves in this situation have used to become their exes back.

And today you're going to see how they did it step by footstep.

So, if you lot want to,

Learn how to get an ex back if they moved on to someone new
Learn most the grass is greener syndrome
Learn all well-nigh rebound relationships
Understand the role no contact plays during the "moving on" phase
Use the being there method
Larn how attachment styles plays a function into the process
Notice why exes move on so fast
Conquer the fear that your ex is going to observe someone better than you
Notice the actual signs your ex has moved on to someone new
Sympathize the protocol for if your ex breaks up with the other adult female and what y'all should practice immediately
Respond if you should go an ex back who cheated on you with the other woman
Take a look at real life existence there success stories

Let'southward begin!

How To Get An Ex Back If They Move On To A New Girlfriend

I started Ex Boyfriend Recovery back in 2012 and if I'm being honest was terrified any fourth dimension a customer would come to me with a situation where their ex had moved on to someone new.

At the kickoff stages of my business I simply didn't have plenty data or experience to properly propose a person in this specific situation.

I'k happy to say that isn't the case anymore. In fact, I recall y'all can easily make the merits that we are somewhat specialists in handling "the other woman" hither at Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

Truth be told the overall strategy for getting an ex dorsum in this circumstance isn't all that different from what we teach our general state of affairs clients with the exception of one matter.

Nosotros all the same propose a no contact rule

We still advise a value ladder and value concatenation

So, if you lot want the technical approach to getting your ex back in your situation then you should familiarize yourself with the post-obit massive guides I've written.

Read The Ultimate Guide To No Contact Here
Read The Ultimate Guide On The Value Chain & Value Ladder Here

To the boilerplate observer it may seem like there'south no truthful difference between this state of affairs and the general ones we encounter so often merely I tin clinch you there is a WIDE gap between the two.

Where we innovate here is with the creation of a brand new strategy that we call "The Existence There Method." Information technology'southward a strategy that is entirely fabricated for situations where your ex has moved on to someone new.

And Information technology WORKS…

And I hateful it works REALLY WELL!

At present, I don't desire to get into it likewise much correct this 2d because we will exist getting into it BIG TIME later on but I still desire to foreshadow what'southward to come.

Speaking of which let'southward talk about one of the most undervalued aspects of this unabridged procedure and that's grasping the grass is greener syndrome.

The Grass Is Greener Syndrome

I've been on record throughout my time on Ex Boyfriend Recovery stating that,

Breakups are nothing more than an admission of an ex that they think they tin can practise improve than you.

There is perhaps no better illustration of this concept than the grass is greener syndrome.

Then, what is GIGS?

The Grass Is Greener Syndrome: Is a situation where your ex breaks up with you considering they think they can do meliorate than you. Sometimes they are proven correct and sometimes they aren't.

It's that last role of the definition that people often sweep nether a rug and tend to forget.

We've seen a lot of knee jerk reactions on both sides of the equation in our time here on Ex Beau Recovery.

And by knee jerk reactions I'chiliad talking near;

Exes who break upwardly with you certain that anyone is better than you only to be proven wrong.
Overreactions by our clients when their ex moves on to someone new
Overreactions from exes when they realize that their "someone new" can't compare.
Oh, and my personal favorite, overreactions when an ex tries to move on to someone new but can't detect anyone.

I think the function of the grass is greener syndrome that's often not talked about plenty is the importance of the honeymoon menses.

For reference the honeymoon period refers to a period of fourth dimension at the beginning of a relationship between two people where everything seems perfect. Information technology'southward usually marked with a lot of intimate moments and fun dates.

But it's a double edged sword because some exes we've noticed literally convince themselves that the way they feel during the honeymoon menstruation is "how information technology should be all the fourth dimension" and when they realize that, that feeling tin can't last forever they blow upward their life in more means than one.

Frantically searching for their side by side fix.

It's a little alarming to await at information technology this fashion but I discover it's of import on a few different levels.

Sometimes it tin be a good thing if your ex has the grass is greener syndrome and moves on to someone else.

Ultimately they may think it is the best conclusion of their life but they are being fooled past the immediate spring in chemicals that go far within a honeymoon period.

Somewhen when things level out the true comparisons between yous and the new woman come up and if she'south constitute defective then that'due south where your ex comes to the harsh realization that the grass wasn't greener on the other side.

Only past moving on to someone new can they find this out for themselves.

But there'south another chemical element that I'm not talking nearly here and that's the role rebound relationships play.

Rebound Relationships

Often the showtime idea many of our clients have when they run into a situation where their ex has moved on to someone new is that, that "new person" is a rebound relationship.

Rebound relationships are often defined by their function as not existence very serious. Simply put, they are a distraction to assistance 1 party get over their previous human relationship.

I suppose it's all a matter of intent.

Recall of it like this.

If your ex moves on to a new girlfriend and his entire intent is to distract himself from the hurting then information technology is probable that relationship is a rebound.

However, if the intent is to simply notice the dearest of his life and then information technology'due south less likely to exist a rebound.

But it's not fifty-fifty that uncomplicated.

A few years ago I wrote an article on how to determine if your ex is in a rebound relationship.

Ultimately I highlight two specific signs.

How Quickly Your Ex Moves On From Yous
How Long They Have Been With The New Person

Let's take a moment and talk well-nigh each of these signs.

Sign #1: How Apace Your Ex Moves On From Yous

Rebound relationships are often divers by how quickly an ex moves on to the new person.

In fact, in our research nosotros've found that a lot of fourth dimension that bail with the new person forms before they've even broken upwardly with y'all.

Sometimes it will even exist a state of affairs where they go dorsum to an ex prior to you.

Either style a definite calling card of a rebound has to do with how apace they are moving on from you.

Sign #ii: How Long They've Been With The New Person

In 2018 I filmed a video called, how long your exes rebound human relationship will last.

I noticed that there was almost no reputable research out there on the topic. This might have actually changed in the years since but at the time I couldn't find anything.

And so, I did something crazy.

I polled my own private Facebook grouping, scoured the Internet forums and came up with my own data on how long the average rebound relationship will last.

According to our research the average rebound will final 5.2 months.

This means that if your ex is with their "rebound" for longer than this time it means their relationship is progressing from "rebound" to non rebound territory.

Timing actually does affair in determining the rebound label.

Of course there'south notwithstanding one matter I'd like to pare back the layers on.

What A Rebound Relationship Breakdown Looks Like

There are typically iv phases to a rebound relationship.

These four phases are essential for you to understand considering non only are they important to identify for you simply it will help y'all acquire when you need to brand your move via the beingness at that place method later on.

If this doesn't make sense yet don't worry I promise it volition simply hang with me for a fiddling while longer.

And so, what are these four phases?

The Honeymoon Catamenia
First Cracks Brainstorm To Form
Fight or Flight
The Epiphany

Let'southward take a moment and dive into each of these.

Phase #one: The Honeymoon Period

An important phase to consider because often times this addictive feeling is what makes a rebound human relationship so bonny.

Not only will the honeymoon period allow your ex to distract himself from y'all but there may be a subtle misunderstanding at play specially if you detect a pattern of him jumping from rebound relationship to rebound relationship.

It may be a example where your ex literally thinks that all human relationship are supposed to feel this way until the finish of time.

Ultimately what happens in this phase is they are on cloud 9 pretty much the entire time.

Information technology besides happens to exist the absolute worst time to contact your ex.

Phase #2: First Cracks Brainstorm To Course

Your ex and his new girlfriend have their get-go statement or fight and things aren't the same.

Slowly but surely he'due south commencement to learn the things virtually the new woman that badger him.

He isn't thinking of leaving yet but he'south coming to the irksome realization that the honeymoon flow isn't going to be lasting forever and that annoys him.

Phase #iii: The Fight Or Flying

So, afterward the outset cracks begin to form your ex will either fight or flight.

And I mean this literally.

They will either cull to stay in the human relationship and have it exist plagued past multiple fights or they will run abroad.

They won't necessarily exit birthday just they'll retreat inwardly.

We've all experienced this when nosotros are with our partner and can tell something is off simply they won't tell u.s.a. what it is.

Well, that'due south this in spades.

Stage #4: Epiphany

They finally confront the truth that they made a mistake with this relationship.

They may even confront the fact that this relationship was zippo more than a distraction from you lot.

And it really puts them in between a stone and a hard place. Sometimes they'll stay stagnant terrified of albeit their epiphany to the person they are with.

Other times they'll just leave without an explanation or simply lie about why they want out of the human relationship.

And then, now that y'all know all the basics on if your ex is in a rebound human relationship let's switch gears and talk about the role no contact plays during the moving on phase.

The Function No Contact Plays During The Moving On Phase

Every bit I've stated at the starting time of this post, we used to exist terrified of situations where clients would come to united states of america with their exes existence moved on.

But over fourth dimension every bit we learned more than and more nosotros learned exactly how to handle this situation.

1 of the first insights we had was with the no contact rule. Now, if you haven't read my massive guide on no contact then I highly recommend yous do that.

Only merely put the no contact rule is,

A period of time where y'all cutting off all conceivable communication with an ex after a breakup. The intent of this tactic should Not be used to make your ex miss y'all but instead should be used to rebuild your own life so that yous outgrow your ex. By doing this, the no contact rule can take the added benefit of making an ex miss you

In that location are patently more technical things to consider like if you share children or work together. Nosotros've come up with a divide blazon of no contact in that circumstance called limited no contact but let'southward not make things complicated.

Instead lets look at what the average person should do.

Generally speaking there are iii time frames we recommend with the no contact dominion.

The 21 Twenty-four hours Dominion
The 30 Day Rule
The 45 Day Rule

Perhaps the biggest thing nosotros learned when studying clients who were in a situation where their ex had moved on was the time frame of a no contact rule.

Initially we believed this didn't make much of a deviation at all.

Simply we were wrong.

Ultimately if yous are in a situation where your ex has moved on you E'er need to choose a longer period of no contact.

In other words, 45 days is what you be choosing.

Why?

Remember above when I was talking virtually the phases of a rebound relationship?

Remember that starting time phase?

It was the honeymoon period, right?

Well, if y'all want to get your ex back while he has a new girlfriend then the accented worst time you lot can begin that process is while they are in the midst of a honeymoon catamenia with the new person.

Instead, yous desire to time your first contact with them when they are in that "cracks beginning to form" phase.

They'll be a lot more than interested in responding to yous in that instance.

Of grade, we didn't come to this determination past accident.

1 of our coaching clients who was in this state of affairs literally asked me one solar day, later completing her no contact of thirty days if she could do some other 30 days.

Her state of affairs was as bad every bit it gets.

Not only had her ex left her for some other woman but he was literally living with this other woman.

The reasoning for why she wanted to extend her no contact was unproblematic. She didn't experience fix to talk to him however.

Then, I relented and let her extend her no contact.

Afterward 60 days… which is still too long in my opinion she reached out to her ex and had pretty bang-up results.

Ultimately when we saw the good results with her instance nosotros started recommending longer periods of no contact beyond the board for our clients in these types of situations and saw favorable results.

Once the patter was established that longer no contacts seemed to work really well we started trying to understand why.

Ultimately we think it has to practice with those phases I discussed above.

Shorter no contact periods tend to end while your ex is still in the midst of a honeymoon period with the new girl. Therefore he isn't very favorable to any you lot're about to say.

Longer no contact periods tend to finish while your ex is first to notice the new girl isn't perfect then there a bit more favorable to whatever you have to say.

In other words, longer no contact periods work really well in this state of affairs.

But let's move on and talk about the most important strategy.

The Being At that place Method

The being there method is without a doubt the biggest thing we've learned with regards to success in this situation.

And so, what is it?

The Being There Method: After your no contact rule is completed you lot insert yourself into the equation with your ex by competing for your exes time with the new daughter. Doing this will evidence off how secure you are and ultimately cause the new girl to self implode.

Here's the thing about the being there method.

It is definitely morally grey.

I'll never forget that I was reminded of this fact when I was doing a Facebook Live to our programme members a few years ago and a therapist who happened to purchase the program called me out on information technology saying that it was akin to emotional manipulation.

My response was simple.

I concur… but it works better than anything else.

And oh does information technology work.

Which absolutely is not necessarily a reason that yous should do something but I've always considered myself a scientist with this plan.

I'thousand trying to get to the bottom of what works and present that data to you.

So, by effectively being in that location and inserting yourself into the equation with your ex yous tin make inroads on getting them back.

What The Being There Method Isn't

A lot of people will read this and immediately assume that the beingness there method is cheating or that we are condoning that.

We are absolutely not.

If annihilation the being at that place method is closer to friend zoning yourself than it is to adulterous.

While you may hope that your ex chooses you lot over the new daughter you aren't trying to interruption them up.

You're simply at that place to provide dissimilarity.

Here'south what an emotionally secure individual looks like (that'south you.)

Versus

Here'southward what an emotionally insecure private looks similar (the other woman.)

If you do your job right your ex volition begin to realize that their new girl isn't on your level and regret will begin to kicking in.

Where The Being There Method Fits Into The Value Ladder And Value Concatenation

Take a moment and look at the graphic below;

In it I basically talk near the "general strategy" for getting an ex dorsum.

I innovate the concept of a value ladder,

Texting
Phone Calls
Meetups
Dates

And I introduce the concept of a value chain,

Small Talk
Telling Stories
Sharing Opinions
Virgin Ground
Sharing Feelings

Essentially the conversation mediums (value ladder) and the conversation types (value concatenation).

How does the being at that place method impact these ideas?

It's a good question and one that warrants a good answer because without a doubt it will impact how you approach these strategies.

The of import matter to remember is that the goal is never to overstep your boundaries.

Let'south take a look at the value ladder first.

The Value Ladder Alterations

The value ladder is defined by the different mediums where y'all can accept conversations.

Texting
Phone Calls
Meetups
Romantic Dates

The theory is that you are supposed to build maximum value through each rung of the ladder before you move to the next one.

Technically speaking is that the only thing that'southward dissimilar when you implement the beingness there method is that you tin't accelerate to that terminal stage in romantic dates.

Merely you can do everything else, including meetups.

Yes, when the time comes you are allowed to encounter your ex in person but yous aren't allow things to progress to a romantic level until they've broken upwardly with the person they are with.

Of course sometimes exes don't like to play past the rules.

One of the common things nosotros've noticed over the years is that when you lot "meet upward" with your ex they like to plow things romantic really fast.

In other words, they'll attempt to crook on their electric current girlfriend and osculation you.

What Happens If Your Ex Tries To Kiss You During The Meetup Phase?

And so, when you are in person with your ex nosotros believe that light touches of the arm are ok.

But if they try to kiss you and so yous simply need to gently pull away and say,

"Nosotros shouldn't exist doing this right now."

Two things happen if yous are able to pull this off exactly how I suggest.

Outset, observe y'all didn't outright deny them. They'll await at it like a denial no doubt but the fact that y'all say, "correct at present," insinuates that there will be a time in the hereafter that the two of you lot will be able to osculation again.

That little insinuation can be plenty to keep them on the hook and that'due south what we desire.

The 2nd thing that will happen is the ziegarnik effect will get triggered.

If you lot don't know what the ziegarnik effect is and then I suggest you lookout this.

Basically people remember incomplete or interrupted tasks improve than completed ones.

The fact that you interrupted this kiss can actually brand them want to kiss yous more.

The dazzler is that you've pulled your ex closer to the cease line and held on to your dignity all the while.

The Value Chain Alterations

For reference, the value chain is comprised of the types of conversations you'll be having with your ex.

Small Talk
Telling Stories
Sharing Opinions
Virgin Ground
Sharing Feelings

In that location's only i big alteration here. You're allowed to accept iv and a half types of conversations.

Yous tin can only share "one-half" of your feelings.

What do I mean by that?

Well, with the existence there method you want basic level flirting.

Which is usually comprised of the witty banter, the back and forth, the compliments, etc.

But that'due south as far as yous want to take it.

Of course, this leads to the inevitable question of what if your ex is with the new person and despite that they say, "I miss you." to yous?

In that case y'all only say "I miss you besides." But if this escalates to "I love yous" then you should probably say, "This isn't a conversation we should be having correct at present."

Ensure that you lot set that boundary.

You aren't giving them the adept stuff like proverb, "I love you too" until they fully commit to you.

Speaking of not fully committing?

What Practice You Do If Your Ex Won't Stop Talking Almost The New Girl In Your Presence?

The outset thing you should always do is not panic.

Don't ask any followup questions about her or even entertain that thought.

Instead, ask a question to your ex specifically to move on to a new topic.

What Practice You Practise If The New Girl Orders Your Ex To Block You Forever?

The outset thing yous should practice is gloat.

I'm actually serious.

If your exes new girlfriend is taking this desperate of a step so that means the being there method definitely is working.

The next thing you demand to exercise is stay really calm, and if it's by text, inquire your ex,

"Well, what do yous think about that?"

It needs to exist an open up-ended mode to invite a conversation.

They'll say whatever they're going to say, and so I remember you demand to say what you lot call back,

Which is;

"We're just friends, then I recall it's a little weird for the new person to ask that."

And then bold also that in the being at that place method, you are dating other people, you could say,

"I'm dating other people and they accept no trouble with me being friends with yous."

Then say the final killer affair,

"I retrieve information technology's pretty interesting that your new person has an consequence with this when mine new person doesn't."

But then so you tin can say follow it up with,

"But if information technology makes you feel better to communicate a little bit less so that it makes your new person feel more secure, we can do that for a while."

By budgeted the state of affairs this way y'all'll exist able to subtly point out how unhinged the new person is condign while also compromising and taking a small break from talking to each other.

Then later that small intermission is over guess what… but slowly get back to normal.

Why Do Exes Tend To Motility On So Fast?

Here's a question that you probably haven't considered.

Why is it that exes tend to move on and then fast after a breakup?

We've seen this a lot with the advent of dating websites where you can literally see your ex popular up after a few days post breakdown.

What's going on here?

Why are they acting this way?

The important thing to remember hither is that with breakups your personal internal narrative isn't ordinarily authentic.

More ofttimes than non it's cipher that you've done incorrect it's more about them feeling they tin practise better than you.

In other words, the grass is greener syndrome plays a huge role in their decision to motion on quickly from you.

But I've been actually studying these blazon of rebound relationships for quite a bit and I have a slightly different take than almost everyone.

The quicker your ex moves on to someone new can have some benefits for them.

The latest inquiry in the field on rebound relationships is increasingly pointing to,

A boost in confidence
A fashion to assist cope with the pain of a breakup
A mode to become more than adventurous

So, in an odd way your ex moving on to someone new quickly can actually help them get over yous faster which adds a difficult complexity in the equation.

Luckily this is something we've already taken into account with the being there method.

It's designed to give your ex plenty time to experience similar you lot're over them but at the same time exist present enough and then that they can't ever forget you lot.

What you really want are the comparisons between the new girl and you to brainstorm.

Speaking of which.

The Fear That Your Ex Will Find Someone Better Than You lot

When your ex boyfriend moves on to someone new information technology's impossible not to compare yourself to the new girl.

Usually this goes one of two ways.

You feel extremely threatened and more depressed.

Or…

You point out all the similarities between the new girl to you and call back that he's replaced yous with someone who is exactly similar you lot.

In all that nagging fear that he'south upgraded to someone better is difficult to quell.

In some cases you'll be so terrified that him and the new daughter are sleeping together that y'all tin can't concentrate.

Ok, so I want to tell you lot a story and it involves yours truly.

About 12 years ago I began dating this girl who we will call Kelsey (that's not her real name obviously but just go with it.)

I was smitten with this daughter and I'm pretty certain she was smitten with me.

The first few months of the relationship were fantastic.

No fights….

Pure honeymoon catamenia puppy honey.

Merely like all adept things that honeymoon period came to an end and it came to an terminate in the about typical way.

Our offset real fight.

I retrieve it like it was yesterday.

We were texting and she mentioned that she was hanging out with her friends. This soon evolved into a sleepover. She mentioned information technology so casually that I didn't think anything of information technology.

My assumption was that she was going to be staying at her friends business firm but her guilty conscious must take taken over at some bespeak because she mentioned that her and her friends were actually going to be sleeping over at Dereks firm.

D.E.R.E.K'South House….

Who the he** is Derek?

Well, information technology turns out that Derek was a popular kid at school and i that my girlfriend at the time had a HUGE trounce on before she met me.

I didn't know this until later.

As yous can imagine I wasn't exactly thrilled with this news.

My mind went to some really night places and we got into our first real fight.

Eventually I was calmed subsequently at that place were assurances that she wasn't alone. She was amongst a group of about 5 girls who went over to this business firm to hang with Dereks sister.

Only why mention Derek at all?

It was downhill from there.

That 1 experience of her sleeping over that guys firm even though it was technically innocent polluted the rest of the human relationship and fabricated me extremely insecure that she was going to crook on me.

What's worse is that I began request around most this Derek beau and anybody was telling me that my girlfriend was always flirting with him.

I face her about this.

She denies it completely but does acknowledge that before she met me she did have a shell on Derek and that he denied her. At present they are just friends and text occasionally.

I tried to be absurd…

But it was impossible. I would selection fights with her to pick fights with her all because of this insecurity I had with Derek.

Eventually information technology escalated to the point that I just bankrupt up with her.

So the silence occurred.

It was a kind of self imposed no contact dominion earlier I had even learned what no contact was.

I did a lot of soul searching and basically determined I was only going to move on with my life.

Maybe a month after I broke up with her I got a Facebook notification that my ex girlfriend, Kelsey, was in a human relationship with none other than….. Derek.

It disgusted me and verified that my intuition was correct all along.

I just focused on myself.

I didn't mail service very much but I got really into working out. I felt that if I could outrun my romance demons it would be a salubrious outlet for me.

I made new friends and cultivated relationships with sometime ones.

At the three calendar month mark I felt pretty happy.

And and then the call came…. Simply Not TO ME!

I was over at my buddies firm watching a UFC at a political party when he all of a sudden had to step out of the room. He was a fleck of a ladies homo so I figured he was but talking to his latest conquest. He was gone for an hour merely when he came back he called me over to meet him outside of the noise of the party.

"Dude… you lot're not going to believe who just called me."

"Who?"

"Kelsey… she was crying on the phone because her new swain is treating her then poorly. She can't stop thinking most how well you treated her in the relationship and all of the things you're doing without her and she sounds like she is regretting her conclusion. She didn't say information technology outright but she sounds like she regrets not fighting for you."

I believe it was Frank Sinatra who said that the best revenge in life is massive success and that's what I think happened in this case.

I'm going to go philosophical here for a moment merely imagine if reincarnation exists as a punishment for us. We're forced to live our lives over and over over again in a perpetual cycle until we can do things the right way.

Until we can live our lives as close to perfect as we possibly can.

Only then are we allowed peace.

If yous treat your relationships that way and your breakdown recovery that manner then I can assure y'all that when the natural comparisons begin to get made between the new girl and you then y'all'll have a like experience to the one I only detailed you from my life.

But what if you aren't sure that your exes "new girl" is someone new?

Actual Signs Your Ex Is Dating Someone New

By and large speaking there are four signs I tell my clients to keep an eye out for on if they have moved on to someone new.

Social Media Update
They Really Tell Yous
The Sphere Of Influence Tells You
They Had The New Person Lined Upwards Already

I'yard going to have a minute and flesh each of these signs out so we are on the same page.

Sign #1: They Update Their Social Media

I started Ex Beau Recovery literally about ten years ago at present and what has fascinated me is how the dating trends have changed in that time when it comes to social media.

When I started out there was only one thing that you had to take into account, Facebook.

X years later Facebook is yet a affair but there's all these other platforms y'all need to business relationship for,

Instagram
Snapchat
Tik Tok

It's getting crowded in the social media space only that doesn't necessarily hateful it's a bad thing.

Ane of the very best ways to make up one's mind if your ex is dating someone new is to merely keep an eye on their social media status updates, photos and stories.

If you see them hanging around a new girl more often at that place'south a pretty skilful hazard in that location's an attraction there.

Sign #ii: They Actually Tell Y'all

Usually they won't do this straight with one notable exception (which I'll talk about in a moment.)

I don't know well-nigh you lot but whenever I've gone through a breakup and moved on to someone new the last person I told was my ex.

In fact, I never consulted with my ex.

Ordinarily they find out past spying on my social media accounts so technically I told them through indirect means.

Nosotros run across this happen a lot so that's why it's important to proceed your ear to the ground.

At that place is one notable exception to this dominion though and that's if you've managed to pi** your ex off.

Ordinarily if the two of y'all get into a fight through text or fifty-fifty in person they'll blurt the news out to you lot to hurt you.

"Oh ya… well I don't even care about you anymore. I'VE MOVED ON!"

Stuff like that.

Sign #three: The Sphere Of Influence

I've talked a lot about the sphere of influence throughout my time hither on Ex Fellow Recovery just unfortunately it'south always 1 of those concepts that seems to go lost on the average reader.

It's criminally underrated considering of how the sphere of influence tends to be in our success stories.

Basically the SOI is comprised of the people your ex surrounds themselves with whose opinions he truly cares about.

Usually this ends up being,

Shut friends
Close family unit members
Work Colleagues

I don't want to overly complicate this because technically your ex has dissimilar sphere of influences based on different aspects of his life.

He'll have a sphere of influence that is for his romantic relationships.

He'll have ane for his career.

One for working out.

It'south kind of like finding your own person Yoda for all these areas of your life but I'm getting style off topic here.

More often than not the sphere of influence is going to be invaluable for you in finding out if your ex has moved on to someone new.

Yours and his.

If homo beings are good for one thing information technology's gossip.

Sign #4: They Had The New Person Lined Upwardly When Yous Were Dating

This is something that no one ever really talks about and it always astounds me because I've seen it so consistently in my decade of work.

A lot of the situations nosotros come across get this fashion.

Usually when the relationship with your ex isn't going well they seek solace in someone else.

Sometimes that means they full on cheat and sometimes that means they just rely on another emotionally.

When the breakup occurs they oft leap into a human relationship with that person.

It'south awful, right?

Well, I've not technically done a poll on information technology to verify my hypothesis but I think this is how a lot of the "moving on" occurs because if yous really retrieve almost information technology your ex probably doesn't retrieve they can do ameliorate than you until they meet this new person and experience these new things.

When that happens it near corrupts their listen with thoughts of leaving y'all because they believe in that location is a better alternative out in that location than you.

Of course they don't shout this from the rooftops because they believe if they do y'all won't exist able to handle it.

If the state of affairs I just outlined sounds eerily familiar to you then at that place is a proficient bet at the very to the lowest degree there is an allure between your ex and this other culling.

Avoidant Attachment Style And Moving On

Here's where things get really interesting.

A few months ago I filmed this beauty,

Essentially the video puts forth sure assertions about avoidant zipper way exes.

Of course, before I cover those assertions I should probably embrace attachment styles.

There are four main attachment styles (technically in that location's more merely nosotros are merely sticking to nuts today.)

Secure: Basically comfortable with intimacy and take supreme fortitude in dealing with loss. They allow themselves to grieve just know they'll be ok and heal in the end.
Broken-hearted: Their whole identity is found in relationships. They are the almost likely to exhibit emotional tendencies and seek abiding reassurance.
Avoidant: They crave intimacy but value their independence then highly that when they feel it is condign threatened they'll react negatively.
Fearful: Essentially information technology'south a combination of both anxious and avoidant styles.

Here'due south the important affair to remember. We accept constitute that the vast majority of our clients seem to exhibit broken-hearted tendencies and their exes seem to showroom avoidant tendencies.

Which means at that place is a pretty good chance that your ex has an avoidant attachment style.

Men with this type of attachment fashion process the world differently than you practice and that's of import to understand right off the bat.

Here'south what nosotros've learned.

If your ex has an avoidant attachment style so they aren't going to miss you lot until they feel you have moved on and there's no chance of a reconnection. In one case this occurs then they requite themselves permission to begin romanticizing the past.

Crazy right?

Well, if we operate under the supposition that your ex is indeed an avoidant AND they've moved on to someone else information technology adds a lot of complication into the equation.

So, here's what tends to happen.

It's literally not until that new person begins to threaten their independence that they begin to await back on your time together fondly.

If you time your "reach out" right then y'all tin can striking them at the exact right time to go your all-time chance of a positive response.

This is one of the reasons that we've plant longer periods of no contact tend to work better than shorter ones.

It helps you time the verbal right moment to accomplish out.

Does Information technology Mean Anything If They Talk To Me When They Are Dating Someone New?

Just how do you know if what you're doing is working?

Well, that'southward where this section comes into play. Ane of the virtually prevalent questions we tend to go from people who find themselves in this situation is, does it mean anything if my ex talks to me when they are dating someone new?

The answer to this is a scrap complicated.

Researchers take institute a link between satisfaction in a current relationship and how often yous communicate with your ex.

In other words, if your ex is constantly talking to you when they are with someone else then it is a pocket-sized indication into how happy they are in that human relationship.

If they don't talk to y'all at all then that ordinarily ways they are pretty happy.

If they talk to you a lot and then that ways there might be some friction with that current human relationship.

I would like to take this a step further and say that what they are talking to you nigh matters as well.

After all, not all conversations are created every bit. Then, if your ex is talking to you to exist prissy and so that isn't the same equally talking to you like a romantic interest.

How practice you tell the difference?

Length of conversation.

Usually someone who is texting just to be nice won't stay in a conversation very long. For them information technology truly is a feeling of, "I want to become through this" and that's reflected with the conversation.

Someone who is actually interested in talking to yous will really be talking to y'all for longer periods of time.

Allow'southward move on and talk about the correct protocol for when (I'm a positive thinker) your ex breaks up with the new woman.

If Your Ex Breaks Up With "The Other Woman" Should You Move Correct Away Or Await?

Your ex beau broke up with his new girlfriend… what at present?

What are y'all supposed to do?

Are you supposed to leap in and try to get your ex dorsum immediately or give your ex some time to breathe?

My thoughts on this accept evolved over the years.

I used to call up that you should requite your ex time to let the emotions settle but the more experience I got with regards to what actually works true success doesn't work in this manner.

Think about the setup I've outlined for yous in this article.

The being there method is cultivated on the fact that y'all are re-establishing connection with your ex. Usually with that re-institution comes feelings.

Most of the time we are seeing exes break up with the other woman because they desire to come back to you.

In this case does it make sense to hit the pause button?

Now, that's not to say that your ex doesn't need some time to consider their feelings nearly everything.

They do.

Just not like months.

Permit's move on and talk about ane of the most difficult situations yous can discover yourself in morally.

Should Y'all Attempt To Get An Ex Dorsum Who Cheats On You?

Determining whether y'all should get an ex back who cheated on y'all AND moved on to that woman is e'er a tricky thing.

A office of me wants to say RUN just the other part of me believes in second chances.

Coincidentally I don't believe in third chances and that'due south the approach I think I would accept if I was y'all if your ex cheated on you.

Perchance the biggest mistake I see people making in this circumstance is not leveraging the state of affairs correctly.

What practise I hateful by that?

If your ex cheated on you then THEY should exist trying to get you back not the other way around.

The being there method takes this all into account but I think information technology's very important that they are the ones who ask for you lot back.

Likewise, I'm not going to prevarication to y'all. Based on our own internal inquiry (and common sense) if your ex has cheated on you multiple times in the by then yous're meliorate off steering articulate of them forever.

It's unlikely that they've turned over a new leaf if they already take a long history of cheating on you.

Proceed with caution.

Bodily Success Stories Where An Ex Moved On And Our Client Got Them Dorsum

I'd like to end this massive article past featuring 1 of my favorite success stories, Bethany.

She'south ane of my all time favorite success stories because of how difficult her situation was and how she had to apply some pretty unique to meet success.

Hither's what she ended up encountering;

Her ex broke upward with her for a new girl
He moved in with the new girl
He did this while she was pregnant

And then, we take like a combination of three of the worst example scenarios.

Bethany was 7 months pregnant thinking she'southward going to have this happy family and then Smash.

He breaks up with her and immediately moves on to this new girl.

A few days later she finds out that he'southward not just moving on with this new girl he'south moving in with her too.

Seems similar an impossible situation, right?

So how was she able to get him back?

Well, I interviewed her for about 40 minutes and asked her.

Here's how she did it.

She watched my 11 factors of dearest Facebook Alive
She implemented the being there method
She used her no contact wisely
She coached with our head coach, Anna
She relied on our boxing buddies system in our private Facebook group
She moved on to someone else

So, there'southward a lot going on here so let'due south dissect.

I don't want to be derivative so I'k not going to rehash things I've already talked about just I will talk about some of the things I haven't talked most that she did.

Specifically the xi factors of love, the boxing buddies and coach Anna.

Then, what are the 11 factors of love?

Basically on a whim in our private Facebook group I recorded this Facebook Live where I talk about love and what factors tend to create information technology.

I've since recorded a like talk on my YouTube channel,

And then Bethany basically took these to center and by her own access sat downward and literally idea to herself,

"Where am I lacking? What can I do improve?"

She besides coached with our caput charabanc hither on Ex Boyfriend Recovery, Anna.

So between that and relying on our battle buddy organization she had a lot of extra back up.

Boxing buddies is something we just do for our programme members.

Essentially we attempt to lucifer you upwardly with someone who has a like situation to yous and so that you lot guys can support each other.

Bethany obviously used this for emotional back up when times got hard.

Obviously coaching with Anna helped also.

I approximate the indicate that Bethany is driving abode here is that you tin can't do this lone.

Yous can effort but having a support system around you is always ameliorate than trying it past yourself.

Luckily, Ex Young man Recovery can be that back up system.

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Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/has-he-moved-on-how-to-get-him-back-if-he-has-a-girlfriend/